Fostering Independence in a Child

One thing that I've found varies greatly from child to child, especially in early years, is their amount of independence. Working as a nanny, where your job is to, well...take care of the children, it's interesting how different this can be for children of the same age group.

I've seen two-year-olds pour their own milk and four-year-olds who can't put on their own socks and everything in between. When my brother, age ten, came to stay with me for a week he was completely dumb-founded when I told him to microwave his own hot dog.

So what is it that makes some kids seem so capable and others so independent? Like always, it comes down to parenting. It's often easier to just do things ourselves than to let our kids take twice as long do the same task, incorrectly at that. We can spend the morning fighting with our kids to pick up their toys, or we could take ten minutes and do I ourselves.

Fostering independence in our children is fairly simple, but not easy. It requires restraint, patients, and a lot grace, for both mommy and child.

Give your child choices. Independence is all about thinking and acting for themselves. But how can kids be expected to make good choices if they haven't had any practice? Giving them free reign can be overwhelming. "Do you want to wear your red shirt or blue shirt today?" Making simple choices like that can drive kids to want to take control.

Give your child the opportunity to be independent. Encourage them to do things for themselves. Little tasks like setting the table or putting clothes in the washing machine will give them a  sense of pride that they will want more of.

And most importantly, if it's not dangerous or destructive, it will be okay. The more independence they get, the more they'll want to "be a helper." They want to get their own water, yes the floor might get wet, but it will dry. They want to pour their own cereal, it might end up on all over the table, but you can always buy more cereal. Just know, that in the end, it will be worth it.